This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz

This is How you Lose HerPulitzer Prize winning author, Junot Díaz writes with a kind of swagger and cool that makes it pretty hard to believe that he’s a creative writing professor at MIT.  Having recently finished reading his third published book, a collection of short stories called This is How You Lose Her, I am convinced that he knows every dirty word in English and Spanish.  Particularly if the words are referencing female anatomy.  So be warned, this is not the novel for anyone offended by salty and sexual language.

But if you can get beyond that, I can’t recommend this book enough. Díaz, himself a Dominican immigrant, tells stories about immigrants that help create a full picture of why someone is who they are. He shows that machismo is often a projection due to a lack of respect, and poor behavior isn’t something to be excused, but it can sometimes be explained. This is never more true than in his semi-autobiographical character, Yunior, the protagonist of most of this collection.

Readers may have met Yunior in Díaz’s The Brief Life of Oscar Wao (winner of the aforementioned Pulitzer) or in his first published collection of short stories, Drown, but I met Yunior for the first time after he cheated on Magda in This is How You Lose Her.  As he cheats his way through many of these short stories — and continues to imprison himself in grief and regret following the discovery of his transgressions — Yunior’s story becomes less about each individual relationship and more about how Yunior’s relationships reflect his own self-image and cultural identity.  The most powerful passages in the novel occur in his home, when we meet his family and see the effects of his father and brother’s infidelity on the family. Equally funny and frustrating, Díaz has written a complicated novel that feels both universal and unique.

Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close

Simple writing and complex, yet realistic, characters make Jennifer Close’s Girls in White Dresses a great choice for a leisurely summer read.  The book follows a group of recent college graduates, Isabella, Mary and Lauren (plus a host of their mutual friends) as they maneuver new lives in New York with its ever-present trials and tribulations.  They each have their share of new boyfriends, new jobs and more than an abundant supply of engagement parties and weddings to attend.

Throughout the book, Close presents a funny and vivid portrayal of the complex relationship between friends.  Her accurate representation of the misunderstandings, the fights and the ultimate close bond between these young women rings true and I would imagine many readers of this book will see either themselves or their friends in the pages of Girls in White Dresses! 

The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan

David Levithan is a prolific YA author whose books I normally enjoy, so I was very interested to see that he released his first novel geared towards adults, called The Lover’s Dictionary.  The format of this book is very unique, as the story is told in short “dictionary” entries.  In each entry, the unnamed narrator defines a word like “ubiquitous”, “autonomy”, and “idea” by describing profound moments (big and little) in his longtime relationship with a woman, who is also unnamed.  Since it’s told through dictionary entries, which are of course alphabetical, the story isn’t told chronologically and it is up to the reader to determine which events happened when.  It’s filled with romance, humor, and heartbreak.

The way this story is told reminds me a lot of the movie 500 Days of Summer, which I loved. The mixed-up timeline is interesting and makes sense with the story rather than feeling like a gimmick.  It allows Levithan to pair the sad moments in the story with the more lighthearted and fun moments of their relationship, which gives the story a nice balance and feels more realistic.  It’s no sugar-coated love story; it feels gritty and real, and Levithan knows how to make you feel it right along with the main character.  If you have enjoyed Levithan’s other books or are looking for a unique and realistic love story, I recommend picking up a copy of this book.

For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage by Tara Parker-Pope

Tara Parker-Pope decided to gather all the science and research about marriage and relationships into one book. Her impetus was the failure of her own marriage; she wanted to know if she could have done anything  to prevent her divorce.

This self-help book is unusual in that the author isn’t spinning conjecture; her “advice” is all based on research. Some of the most interesting studies were about arguments; turns out the subject matter and frequency is less important than the level of scorn.  She also warns that the first three minutes of an argument are critical. The outcome can be less damaging, the more open and less explosive you are.

For Better is full of practical advice about how differences in financial style, child rearing and household chores affect a relationship.

Often, commonly held wisdom was not found to be the case in real life. Very useful for long-married and newly married couples.

Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin

The latest book by Emily Giffin, Heart of the Matter, delves into the dynamics of what can happen with a chance encounter and how seemingly small things can completely change lives.

Stay at home mom Tessa Russo’s days are spent with her two young children while her husband, Nick, a world renowned pediatric plastic surgeon, works long hours which keeps him away from his family much of the time.  While celebrating their anniversary at a five-star restaurant, Nick receives a call that will completely alter their future as a couple.  A five year old boy, Charlie Anderson, has been burned on his hands and face at a birthday party and Nick has been called to the hospital to treat him.

In the days and weeks to follow, Nick develops a strong bond with Charlie’s single mother, Valerie, and with the boy.  With the days, nights and weekends in which they spend together watching over him through surgeries and rehabilitation, their relationship slowly turns romantic.  Nick’s wife Tessa eventually learns of the affair after his admission that he has just ended his relationship with Valerie.  Tessa’s decision about her future is not easy or simple, and Giffin’s characters have true depth and thoughfulness in the decisions which they make.

Each chapter of Heart of the Matter alternates between Tessa’s and Valerie’s voices and this technique makes each of the two women multi-layered, complex and real. Giffin has a talent for creating empathetic female characters which the reader truly cares about.  Heart of the Matter is Giffin’s fifth book and each of her previous novels conquer similar themes – women at a juxtaposition in their lives as well as the complex choices which go with them.

The Three Weissmanns of Westport by Cathleen Schine

After 48 years of marriage, Joseph has asked Betty for a divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences”. This confuses Betty because of course they have “irreconcilable differences” – what did that have to do with divorce? And thus begins a tale of manners and family ties, heartbreak and second chances.

To save money Betty and her two adult daughters – each facing life changing situations of their own – move into a dilapidated cottage on Long Island, loaned to them by an benevolent cousin. It is here that each woman faces her new future, making connections to their neighbors, town and each other that are both unexpected and comforting.

The Three Weissmanns of Westport by Cathleen Schine is a decidedly modern look at society, inspired by the novels of Jane Austen (you’ll recognize a lot of Sense and Sensibility and a bit of Pride and Prejudice here) Witty, thoughtful, sharply observant, this is a novel of picking up the pieces and starting anew.

Five Love Langauges

5 love languagesThis book by Gary Chapman was recommended to me by my niece, who found it a helpful reference for her young family.  It’s a quick read, plus Chapman has multiple versions out on the same topic.  Similar to Jack Canfield’s Chicken Soup for the Soul series, he has editions especially designed for men, singles, teens, children, etc. — you get the picture.   The one I actually read was God Speaks Your Love Language.

The premise is simple enough.  According to Chapman, who has more than 30 years of counseling experience, “each person has a primary love language.”   We tend to be drawn to people who speak our primary language because we feel they are meeting our basic need to be loved.  Conversely, if a person does not speak our primary language, we may question whether they really do love us or not.

The five love languages are:

1) Words of Affirmation.  Most people love to hear the words, “Good job!” Some individuals, however, crave that affirmation and are also easily hurt by critical comments.

2) Quality Time.  This is about spending time one-on-one, giving undivided attention.

3) Gifts.  These tend to be tangible expressions, such as birthday presents or even money.

4) Acts of Service.  The list is endless– mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, cooking a meal.

5) Physical Touch.  Hugging , high fives and back rubs would all fit here.

Okay, so now that you know the basics — What’s your primary love language?

The Wildwater Walking Club by Claire Cook

Wildwater Walking ClubThis is the perfect vacation/summer/beach book – light and fun but not too trashy (so you don’t have to be embarrassed to be seen with it) with a fun story line and a simple message – invest in yourself, it’s your most valuable asset.

The Wildwater Walking Club opens with Noreen Kelly taking an early buyout from her company and then discovering that she’s been dumped by her boyfriend the same day. Suddenly, she has time on her hands and has no idea what to do with it. Noreen has always defined herself by her job and her relationships, hardly taking the time to look at the world around her. Sad and lonely, she goes for a walk. Which eventually leads to longer walks, meeting new friends, starting adventures she never would have tried before, finding herself.

This charming story of women’s friendships, loyalty and getting involved will make you happy and hopeful – and it might just inspire you to put on a pair of walking shoes and start walking!