Change Your Mind, Change Your Life

You’ve probably heard of positive thinking, affirmations, and other ways to use the right messaging to create better thoughts, and thereby affect how you live your life. You may not have considered it in detail, however, including the studies that show how powerful your thought patterns really are. Recently we added Mind Your Mindset by Michael S. Hyatt to the collection; this book delves into those studies and how you can apply those ideas to improve your performance in business and in everyday life.

However, this is not the first time these ideas have been explored in print. You might also try these other titles for other perspectives on an important concept.

Mindset by Carol Dweck (2006) is the original text on the power of your thoughts – Dweck powerfully demonstrates that if you believe your identity and skills are not fixed, but can always grow and develop, then failure is not a threat to you and your identity, but rather a necessary step in the learning process. She calls this the “growth mindset” and the key to success and change.

In Feeling Good Together by David Burns (2008) (which I have recommended before, and probably will again) he shares the five secrets of effective communication, all of which hinge on a vital mindset change – let go of your need to be right and acknowledge the truth in others’ views, and your relationships will improve. A difficult thing to learn to do, but so powerful.

For a twist on this idea, revisit another of my old recommendations: Presence by Amy Cuddy. This book explores how our posture can affect our emotions, mindset, and performance, including studies that showed results and examples of effective poses. Pairing one of the books above with this one will give you a one-two punch to improve your general approach to life. Be warned, this book could also lead you down a rabbit hole of exploring the fascinating field of mind-body connection with other titles like The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A. Van der Kolk.

Finally, for a more comprehensive overview, try Success: The Psychology of Achievement  by Deborah A. Olson (2017). There are many, many facts and tips shared here including on managing emotions, expectations, AND your thought patterns for more effective interactions with yourself, with stress, and with others.

Scheduling Time To Think

Even though I could have named this blog post “Here’s Another Cool Thing Ariana Huffington Shared On LinkedIn”, this article  by Shane Parrish entitled “Your First Thought Is Rarely Your Best Thought: Thoughts On Thinking” makes compelling points about carving out a time to think. Ain’t nobody got time for that, you might say. But we are mistaken, my friends.  Our hyper-tasking tendencies only create the illusion that we’re accomplishing multiple tasks simultaneously; but in reality, we are not completing any one task fully or even partially. I think the point is that if we slow down and do a little bit more contemplative work on the front end, we will save ourselves time and more importantly learn how to honor our own authentic voice above the noise of the crowd.

If you’re like me, you haven’t scheduled “Time to think” on your calendar lately but you know that twentieth-century living is marked by a type of frenetic energy and pace of “being busy”. We’ve all heard our friends, family members, teachers, doctors, significant others, servers, and others repeat the exasperated expression “I’m so busy”, or “I’m too busy to … ” and we ourselves have likely uttered these words, too. But isn’t it odd we don’t even have much “proof” of our busy-ness except for rapid heart-rates and elevated cortisol and blood pressure levels? I mean, that might be a little bit hyperbolic, but what do we have to show for scurrying about like we’re completely mad? With what, exactly, are we busying ourselves? Most of the time, and I’ll speak for myself here, the sense of urgency I feel and convey to others about my busy-ness is self-imposed. Oftentimes, we would be far better-equipped to make life’s easier and more difficult decisions if we just took the time up front to slow down and think. Parrish, the author of the article I linked to earlier, says succinctly:

“I actually schedule time to think. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I protect this time as if my livelihood depended on it because it does. Sometimes I’m in the office and sometimes I’m in a coffee shop. I’m not always thinking about a problem that I’m wrestling with. I’m often just thinking about things I already know or, more accurately, things I think I know. Setting aside time for thinking works wonders, not only for me but also for most of the people I’ve convinced to give it a try. The problem with not having time to think is nailed by William Deresiewicz, who said: ‘I find for myself that my first thought is never my best thought. My first thought is always someone else’s; it’s always what I’ve already heard about the subject, always the conventional wisdom.'”

Pretty insightful, right? How well do you know your own thoughts? Have you ever taken the time to sort through your own tendencies and thought processes? Although a yoga or meditation practice is different from penciling in time to think, I would guess that the outcome is similar. In making time for yourself, you begin to know yourself more deeply, and what is more profound than that?

Bringing awareness to your thought processes, tendencies, and patterns enables you to be an active agent in your life without living merely at the mercy of your reactions and impulses. Contemplating how you think negates living as though you’re a hamster in a wheel. And maybe the better point is that patience and time are required to arrive at your authentic and original thoughts. Some things simply cannot be done well if they are done rapidly.  Maybe it’s just that there are no shortcuts to arriving at a well-conceived answer and you owe it to yourself to find out what you really think, desire, and need in your own life. What might scheduling time to think actually look like for you? Would you allow yourself that time, and if not, why?