“I’m afraid of the unpredictability of existing. I’m afraid of not being able to control the direction of my life. I’m afraid that no matter how much I plan, I won’t be able to avoid hurtful and sad things. But above all…” I take a deep breath and laugh softly, because what I’m about to say is ridiculous, even if it’s true. Even if it’s me. “Mostly, I’m afraid of attempting something and not being perfect at it.”
― Ali Hazelwood, Deep End

Deep End by Ali Hazelwood has been recommended to me by many staff members and friends alike. When the audiobook was finally available, I decided to give it a listen and oh boy, was this book great. (Scroll to the end of this blog post for a list of content warning and content notes that do include spoilers.) This is a steamy college romance with threads to other books by Ali Hazelwood. Check out this title if you’re interested in a sports romance that isn’t afraid to explore a powerful, yet tender, romance.

Scarlett Vandermeer is a competitive diver at Stanford. She is a junior and a student athlete who is concentrating on getting into med school and staying out of trouble. After suffering from an injury that almost ended her career, Scarlett is struggling with a mental block that has been keeping her from performing the type of dive that she was doing when she injured herself. With a busy schedule, Scarlett has no time for romantic relationships. She has a hard enough time keeping up with her teammates, her stepmom, and her roommate.

Lukas Blomqvist is a senior at Stanford. He’s the captain of the swim team, a world champion swimmer, and considered by all to be THE golden boy. He consistently breaks records and wins gold medals by thriving on discipline and complete and utter focus. His rigidness in swimming extends to every other aspect of his life as well. Lukas needs to be in control (his roommates can testify to this as he has a strict cleaning schedule that they all must adhere to).

Scarlett and Lukas are on each other’s peripheries, united through Penelope, Scarlett’s friend and Lukas’s girlfriend. They have nothing in common besides her, until Penelope shares a secret that threatens to destroy the friend group yet somehow make everything better. Scarlett and Lukas soon find themselves writing up an agreement that leads to their relationship heating up. As the two works towards the Olympic trials, their budding new relationship grows stronger. Soon the two must decide what they want from each other. This fling has grown more serious than either expected.

The emotional buildup between the characters had me hooked all the way through. I loved the characters, their vulnerabilities, and their flaws. Ali Hazelwood has this incredible ability to write science based romance novels in an accessible and easy to understand way. Each character was flawed, yet Hazelwood took the time to explore each of their pasts in such a way that made sense to the story. None of the characters’ story developments felt rushed and readers could clearly track how they grow through the story. The plot kept me engaged through the whole book and was enjoyable with complex characters.

This title is also available in large print.

This is a list of content warnings & content notes for Deep End (includes spoilers):

• Exploration of kink and some aspects of BDSM (always consensual and always negotiated); the sexual relationship between the MMC and the FMC includes several power exchange scenarios/situations
• Mentions of sports injuries and orthopedic surgeries
• Mentions of an abusive relationship (coercive control) between the FMC and her father (off-page; in the past; no physical violence ever occurs)
• Death of a parent (off-page; in the past)
• Terminal illness (off-page; in the past)
• Bullying (off-page; in the past)
• Explicit and graphic sexual content
• Cursing and vulgar language