“In a cult, safety means agreement. The irony, of course, is that while you are not allowed to have your own opinion about my beliefs, I am allowed to have an opinion about yours.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

What television show influenced you as a teenager? For me, it was One Tree Hill. Running for nine seasons from 2003 to 2012, this teen drama follows the lives of half-brother Lucas and Nathan Scott as they grow up in Tree Hill, North Carolina. They switch between rivals, friends, and family as they compete on the basketball court and amongst their friends. Bethany Joy Lenz, the author of Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While also in an Actual Cult), plays Haley James on the show, best friend to Lucas Scott. Haley was portrayed as the nerdy, mousey friend, the one who would rather read and stay home than hang out with the loud crowd. To say I related to Haley as a teenager would be a massive understatement, so when she announced her book, Dinner for Vampires, I knew I needed to give it a read.

Dinner for Vampires begins with Lenz’s childhood. Growing up as an only child, Lenz searches for a place to belong. She often had to fend for herself, living with parents who were less than happy with each other. Her family frequently moved, following her dad across the country as he switched jobs. As a young adult, Lenz found the family she was looking for when she joins a Bible study filled with other Hollywood types. Relieved to have found people with similar beliefs, she relaxes. The group isn’t as nice as they seem though. Soon they change into something more dangerous, although it takes Lenz years to realize this. Under the pretense of love in The Big House Family, they weave a web of lies, abuse, fear, and manipulation, lulling their members into complacency and lives of docility to never want to leave. Lenz slowly starts giving away pieces of herself: her autonomy, her belongings, and millions of her TV income.

“I found out that when the numbness lasts for long enough it bears a striking resemblance to peace.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

Lenz is filming One Tree Hill during her time in The Big House Family, eventually splitting her time between filming in North Carolina and the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound. She is eventually compelled to marry one of the minister’s sons and her life only continues to spiral from there. Once Lenz becomes a mother, she realizes that she has to escape to save her daughter from a similar fate. Escaping is only the beginning. She has to start to heal from her trauma and reevaluate her relationship with God, religion, and faith.

Dinner for Vampires is heartbreaking and profound. I listened to the audiobook, where the author narrates as herself, as well as some guest voice appearances from other actors. Her insights into her acting experiences were eye-opening, watching her grow from a child actor to an adult actor. Her secret life while filming One Tree Hill was interesting as it shed some light onto some of the producing decisions during the show. Reading about the financial crimes and abuse that happened to Lenz and others was infuriating, but her intense desire to speak out and fight helped her to start healing from the trauma.

“I think we’re all little cathedrals of contradiction. Terrifying darkness and shocking beauty coexist in everyone, and God doesn’t wait for us to clean out all the bad before celebrating the good. It’s scandalous, really—that kind of love.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show