Books Celebrating Neurodiverse Parenting

Neurodiversity Celebration Week is March 18-24, 2024. This time is used to celebrate people who think, move, process information, and communicate in different ways. The term neurodiversity is used to take a balanced view of an individual’s unique strengths and challenges. (Taken from the website www.neurodiversityweek.com)

The Davenport Public Library’s Literacy and Learning Collection features books about that may help you in parenting a neurodivergent child or thrive as a neurodiverse family. (Descriptions provided by the publishers.)

Low-Demand Parenting : dropping demands, restoring calm, and finding connection with your uniquely wired child by Amanda Diekman — Author and autistic adult Amanda Diekman discusses her experience as a parent to her own neurodivergent children. In the book, she outlines a parenting approach that finally lowers the bar for the whole family, enabling the equilibrium of the home to be restored. Low-Demand Parenting allows you to drop the expectations that are making family life impossible and embrace the joyful freedom of living life with low demands. Full of practical resources and scripts that are easy to implement in busy everyday life, this book is your guide to parenting your uniquely wired child.

Views from the Spectrum : a window into life and faith with your neurodivergent child by Ron Sandison — Author and autistic adult Ron Sandison shares the inspiring stories of twenty remarkable young adults with autism and the loving families who support them. This book serves as both a how-to guide for parents as well as an uncanny view into the world of autism. In every interview Ron reveals that, while there are similarities among the young adults featured, each is uniquely talented. Full of anecdotes, expert research, parenting tips, prayers, and devotion, this book is a celebration of autism and of faith.

Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Children : a guide for autistic wellbeing by Luke Beardon — One of the biggest challenges for the parent of any autistic child is how best to support and guide them through the situations in life which might cause them greater stress, anxiety and worry than if they were neurotypical. Dr. Luke Beardon has put together an upbeat and readable guide that will be essential reading for any parent to an autistic child, whether they are of preschool age or teenagers. This practical book gives insight into the nature of the anxiety experienced by autistic people. Socially and emotionally this book covers challenges such as bullying, friendships, relationships, puberty and sex education.

8 keys to parenting children with ADHD by Cindy Goldrich — Parenting children with ADHD, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed, can be challenging and complex. But just as a child who struggles with reading can learn to decode words, children with ADHD can learn patience, communication, and solution-seeking skills to become more confident, independent, and capable. This book, rich with optimism, tips, tools, and action plans, offers science-based insights and systems for parents to help cultivate these skills.

Raising Twice-Exceptional Children : a handbook for parents of neurodivergent gifted kids by Emily Kircher-Morris — Just because a child is gifted doesn’t mean they don’t have other types of neurodivergence, like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and more. Conversely, even children with one of these diagnoses can be cognitively gifted. Raising Twice-Exceptional Children provides you with a roadmap to understand the complex makeup of your “gifted-plus,” or twice-exceptional, child or teen. The book helps you understand your child’s diagnosis, meet their social-emotional needs, build self-regulation skills and goal setting, and teach self-advocacy. It also shows you effective ways to collaborate with teachers and school staff, and it offers advice on finding strength-based strategies that support development at home.

Ronan and the Endless Sea of Stars written by Rick Louis and illustrated by Lara Antal

Trigger warning for child loss.

It’s seldom that I read a book that leaves me in tears. Ronan and the Endless Sea of Stars written by Rick Louis and illustrated by Lara Antal emotionally devastated me and tore out my heart. This graphic novel memoir tells the story of one parent’s journey caring for his son with a terminal diagnosis. Rick Louis beautifully wrote this story about his life, while Lara Antal illustrated his words with sensitivity. The pallet of blues, whites, and blacks is breathtaking and tenderly adds to the story of the before, during, and after his son’s life.

Rick and Emily were overjoyed when she became pregnant. After their son Ronan was born and as his development progressed, they noticed a slight issue with his vision that necessitated a trip to the doctor. That visit led them down a rabbit hole of other doctors and ended with a devastating diagnosis for Ronan. Ronan has Tay-Sachs, an incurable neurological disorder. Rick and Emily have to deal with the practical issues of raising their son, while also paired with the emotional hurdles of loving their son under the shadow of their inevitable loss and his inevitable death. They are trapped in an impossible situation with very little positives.

This book was heartbreaking, yet told beautifully by a father destroyed by the loss of his young son. I strongly recommend this book (though have the tissues ready). While this story is sad, Rick also lightens his telling with comedy paired with gorgeous artwork. It’s full of warmth and heartbreak, sorrow and joy, as Rick discusses the importance of finding joy no matter how your life is at the moment.

What to Do When I’m Gone: A Mother’s Wisdom to Her Daughter by Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman

While looking back over what I read in 2022, I realized that I only read one nonfiction title. This year, I decided that I’m going to read more nonfiction. The perfect way to ease myself into nonfiction? Graphic novels! My first nonfiction read of 2023, What to Do When I’m Gone: A Mother’s Wisdom to Her Daughter by Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman, is a beautifully writter, yet incredibly sad graphic memoir written and illustrated by a mother/daughter duo.

Hallie Bateman is an illustrator/writer, while her mother Suzy Hopkins is also a writer. When Hallie was in her early twenties, she was kept up late one night after realizing that one day her mom would die. Devastated and wanting a way to gather all the motherly advice that she would miss, Hallie came up with a plan. She asked her mom Suzy to write down step-by-step instructions for her to follow after her death. Her mother laughed, but then said yes and began writing.

Suzy started by saying that Hallie needed to walk away from her phone after her death, then ‘pour yourself a stiff glass of whiskey and make some fajitas’. Suzy’s advice walks Hallie through the days, weeks, months, and years after her loss. The advice, guidance, and support she supplies throughout is at times funny, but also heart-wrenching. She talks about issues of all sizes, from how to cook certain recipes to how to choose a life partner. As they worked together making this grpahic novel, they discussed a wide variety of everyday issues with open minds and open hearts.

While I enjoyed the juxtapoisiton of Suzy’s advice with Hallie’s colorful art style, the topics discussed had me tearing up. The format of this book was a unique take on processing grief. It’s essentially a years-long instruction manual for getting through life without your mom. It was a quick read, but one that had me laughing and crying at various points throughout. As soon as I finished, I started my own list of questions that I wanted to talk to my family and friends about while they’re still living.

The Lights on Knockbridge Lane by Roan Parrish

Roan Parrish continues to rise to the top of the list of my favorite authors with The Lights on Knockbridge Lane, a book where you come for the steamy romance but stay for the good parenting and cozy domesticity. Perfect for the holiday season, this story is a festive entry in the Garnet Run series, while keeping up its themes of healing from trauma and forging new futures.

Adam has been raising his adopted daughter August (Gus to her friends) alone since a painful divorce. It’s been hard for them both to move back to Adam’s hometown, and so Adam desperately wants to make Christmas magical for her. Enter their reclusive neighbor Wes, who Gus aggressively befriends in order to see more of his unusual pets — including a tarantula named Bettie. Together they embark on a mission to have ‘the most lights ever’ on their house – Gus’ only Christmas wish. Meanwhile Adam and Wes grow closer and they start imagining a future together. But when their project goes viral, Wes’ fear of the spotlight threatens to ruin their fragile relationship.

As always, Parrish pairs her warm romance with deeply felt insights; in this case exploring the intrusive, destructive side to celebrity culture, what it really means to embrace differences, the bumpy road to making a family, and – most of all – how important and possible it is to break generational cycles of trauma. Both Adam and Wes struggled with toxic parents growing up, and both make it their mission to be gentle and honest with Gus. It was so refreshing to read consistent examples of good communication and transparency in parenting, so that Gus feels not only like a fully fleshed-out character but it’s also clear how seriously Adam takes his great responsibility of raising a child.

If you’re looking for a romance that can be spicy, cozy, and wise all at once, that can heal your heart and give you hope, you may want to read this book.

New Philosophy, Psychology & Self-Help in August

Featured new additions to DPL’s Philosophy, Psychology & Self-Help collections! Click on the title to place a hold. For more new books, visit our Upcoming Releases page. As always, if there’s a title you would like to read, please send us a purchase suggestion.

9780385540391How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly’s Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life by Heather Havrilesky – Should you quit your day job to follow your dreams? How do you rein in an overbearing mother?  Should you put off having a baby for your career?  Heather Havrilesky, the author of the weekly advice column Ask Polly, featured in New York Magazine’s The Cut, is here to guide you through the “what if’s” and “I don’t knows” of modern life with the signature wisdom and tough love her readers have come to expect. How to Be a Person in the World is a collection of never-before-published material along with a few fan favorites. Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.

51GCBlmDRAL__SX327_BO1,204,203,200_The Dream of Enlightenment: The Rise of Modern Philosophy by Anthony Gottlieb – Western philosophy is now two and a half millennia old, but much of it came in just two staccato bursts, each lasting only about 150 years. In his landmark survey of Western philosophy from the Greeks to the Renaissance, The Dream of Reason, Anthony Gottlieb documented the first burst, which came in the Athens of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. Now, in his sequel, The Dream of Enlightenment, Gottlieb expertly navigates a second great explosion of thought, taking us to northern Europe in the wake of its wars of religion and the rise of Galilean science. In a relatively short period–from the early 1640s to the eve of the French Revolution–Descartes, Hobbes, Spinoza, Locke, Leibniz, and Hume all made their mark. The Dream of Enlightenment tells their story and that of the birth of modern philosophy.

1_jkTaeBQMgYcuzbg3VDRo4QThe Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism by Kristin Dombek – They’re among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie, cheat, and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished, appearing to live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But narcissists are empty. So goes the popular understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). Pop psychologists have armed the normal with tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this rising population. In The Selfishness of Others, essayist Kristin Dombek provides a clear-sighted account of how a rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid cultural phenomenon, a repository for our deepest fears about love, friendship, and family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the razor-thin line between pathology and common selfishness, writing with robust skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for those who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear and blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life.

413UF7ru1eLThe Cyber Effect: A Pioneering Cyberpsychologist Explains How Human Behavior Changes Online by Kristin Dombek – Mary Aiken is the world’s leading expert in forensic cyberpsychology – a discipline that combines psychology, criminology, and technology to investigate the intersection where technology and human behavior meet. In this, her first book, Aiken has created a starting point for all future conversations about how the Internet is shaping development and behavior, societal norms and values, children, safety, security, and our perception of the world. Cyberspace is an environment full of surveillance, but who is looking out for us? The Cyber Effect offers a fascinating and chilling look at a future we can still do something about. Readers will gain a new understanding of the rapid change taking shape around us and come away with critical tools to become part of this very necessary conversation.

7a848663_brief_viceA Brief History of Vice: How Bad Behavior Built Civilization by Robert Evans – Guns, germs, and steel might have transformed us from hunter-gatherers into modern man, but booze, sex, trash talk, and tripping built our civilization. Cracked editor Robert Evans brings his signature dogged research and lively insight to uncover the many and magnificent ways vice has influenced history, from the prostitute-turned-empress who scored a major victory for women’s rights to the beer that helped create – and destroy – South America’s first empire. A celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time, A Brief History of Vice explores a side of the past that mainstream history books prefer to hide.

9780374229702The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells us about the Relationship Between Parents and Children by Alison Gopnik – Drawing on the study of human evolution and her own scientific research into how children learn, Gopnik shows that although caring for children is profoundly important, it is not a matter of shaping them to turn out a particular way. Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and to be very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood lets them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. “Parenting” won’t make children learn – but caring parents let children learn by creating a secure, loving environment.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber & Mazlish

how to talkIf you have ever felt like the words you speak are falling on deaf ears, you may want to check out How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

The book is addressed to parents, mostly, but I have found the suggestions presented are useful in many other contexts, too. Teachers will no doubt find them useful, as well as anyone who wants to work on their communication skills or has ever had to deal with difficult people.

The authors learned many of their principles of effective communication from their teacher, Dr. Haim Ginnott, of Columbia University. They went on to hone their approach over many years through their experiences as parents and teachers.

The following principles are taken from Dr. Ginnott’s approach:

  • Never deny or ignore a [person’s] feelings.
  • Only behavior is treated as unacceptable, not the [person].
  • Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. “I see a [broken lightbulb].”
  • Attach rules to things, e.g., “[People] are not for hitting.”
  • Dependence breeds hostility. Let [people] do for themselves what they can.
  • Limit criticism to a specific event—don’t say “never”, “always”, as in: “You never listen,” “You always manage to break things”, etc.
  • Refrain from using words that you would not want [anyone] to repeat.
  • Ignore irrelevant behavior.

The book presents these ideas using amusing vignettes of common scenarios and how best to handle them. If you like this book, you may also be interested in the following by the same authors:

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too  

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children

Between Brothers & Sisters: A Celebration of Life’s Most Enduring Relationship

How to Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk 

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures is a book put together by Amber Dusick. The idea for this book came about when she was looking for a way to vent about her frustrations and joys of being a parent. As a result, her blog, Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, was born and morphed to include anything and everything that she needed to vent about in her life, not just parenting. It became so popular that she decided to turn her blog posts into a book. She just came out with one about marriage as well. Go Amber!

Dusick describes her family throughout her book as Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy, and Crappy Husband, though she stresses multiple times that none of them are in fact crappy, JUST her drawings! Since she wanted to tell people about the things that happened in her day-to-day life, she figured drawing crappy pictures, the only kind that she can draw, to go along with her stories would help illustrate her frustration.

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures is broken up into ten different chapters, each detailing one major part of parenting that Dusick and other parents can completely relate to, from the difference in your life before and after kids, how to deal with sickness in your house, remembering the good stuff about being a parent, and also what she calls the “50 Crappy Laws of Parenting”.

Follow Dusick as she regales you with stories about how you just can’t get your kids to BE QUIET while on a road trip especially on a plane, how family dinner time is never actually family dinner since that would require everyone to sit at the table at the same time, and just how much you should treasure sleep because babies, for some reason, do not sleep at all!

Sugar and Spice

One of our own just had her first baby and in honor of the arrival of the newest Davenport Library patron, here is a list of some of our latest books on childbirth, babies and raising children.

dreambirthDreamBirth by Catherine Shainberg – Bringing a new life into the world is more than a biological process-it is the most profound act of creativity in the human experience.  With DreamBirth, this leading imagery expert offers practical exercises and guidance for harnessing our innate creative power throughout all four phases of childbirth-conception, pregnancy, labor, and post-partum care.

what to feed your babyWhat to Feed Your Baby by Stan Cohen – In this book, Dr. Stanley Cohen, a pediatric gastroenterologist and nutritionist with longstanding interest in infant nutrition, provides a practical and pragmatic approach to a major concern for new mothers. The author’s innovative, cost-sensitive methods can save both new and seasoned parents hundreds to thousands of dollars yearly and improve their families’ nutrition at the same time.

bumpologyBumpology by Linda Geddes – The moment she discovers she’s pregnant, every woman suddenly has a million questions about the life that’s developing inside her. In Bumpology , Geddes discusses the latest research on every topic that expectant parents encounter, from first pregnancy symptoms to pregnancy diet, the right birth plan, and a baby’s first year.

 

parenting beyondParenting Beyond Pink and Blue by Christia Brown – A guide that helps parents focus on their children’s unique strengths and inclinations rather than on gendered stereotypes to more effectively bring out the best in their individual children. When parents place less emphasis on gender, children are free to flourish in activities and ways that are authentic to them. Modern parents want to raise their children as unique individuals; Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue helps them break out of the restrictive pink or blue box.

artful parent2The Artful Parent by Jean Van’t Hul – Bring out your children’s creativity and imagination with more than 60 kids’ art activities. Art making is a wonderfully fun way for young children to tap into their imagination, deepen their creativity, and explore new materials, all while strengthening their fine motor skills and developing self-confidence.

 

Slesleepep: What Every Parent Needs to Know by Rachel Moon – Sooner or later, most parents face challenges at bedtime. From infants and toddlers, to school-age kids and adolescents, sleeptime problems can affect everyone in the family. And no matter what your child’s difficulty may be – getting to sleep, staying asleep, bed-wetting, fears or nightmares – it’s never too late to take steps to correct it.

baby bootiesBaby Booties and Slippers by Susie Johns – A new baby or toddler is the perfect excuse to get creative and what could be a more delightful gift than an adorable handmade pair of booties or slippers? This cute collection of 30 projects is packed full of gorgeous designs. From newborns to toddlers, there’s plenty here to keep those precious tiny toes warm in style, whether you want to make delicate and classic booties or funky themed slippers.

mama docMama Doc Medicine by Wendy Sue Swanson – Pediatrician, mother and blogger Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson helps decipher today’s conflicting medical opinions, offers helpful online resources, and shares what she’s learned over many years from her patients, friends and family in this enlightening guide to parenting. Using Dr. Swanson’s experience as a mother and physician, this book provides simple answers to the “how,” “what,” “why,” and “who” questions of parenting.

Good luck with your own little Storm-a-geddon Amber! You’re going to be an awesome Mom!

Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation by Elizabeth Beckwith

raising2If you’re not a fan of traditional parenting books (or even if you are) you might want to check out Elizabeth Beckwith’s Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation. This book is laugh-out-loud funny and with chapters such as “How to Scare the Crap out of Your Child (in a Positive Way)”, and “Mind Control: Why it’s a Good Thing” Elizabeth Beckwith offers a new spin on the traditional parenting books.

Despite the title, Ms. Beckwith has some pretty sound advice to offer. For example, “speak loudly and disparagingly of people who do bad things”. See a guy speed through a parking lot? Make sure you tell your kid what a moron that guy is, and that that’s how people die. As Ms. Beckwith says “it’s always good to sprinkle the fear of death into these lessons whenever possible”.

This method lets you pepper lessons into daily life rather than having sit-down conversations about topics such as drugs or smoking. See a scantily-clad woman on the street? Make sure you mention that she looks like a hooker. This not only shows your daughter that it’s not ok with you to dress this way, but it also sends the message to your son that this is NOT the kind of girl you bring home.

Each lesson is illustrated with colorful stories from the author’s own childhood. So whether you’re looking for parenting advice or just want a great memoir to read Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation is definitely worth checking out, as long as you don’t mind a little colorful language.

 

The Artful Parent by Jean Van’t Hul

artful parentBring out your children’s creativity and imagination with more than 60 kids’ art activities from the creator of The Artful Parent blog.

Art making is a wonderfully fun way for young children to tap into their imagination, deepen their creativity, and explore new materials, all while strengthening their fine motor skills and developing self-confidence. The Artful Parent has all the tools and information you need to encourage your children’s creativity through art. You’ll learn how to set up an art space, how to talk to children about their artwork, how to choose the best art supplies (without breaking the bank), how to re-purpose and organize the piles of art created, and even how to use kids’ art activities to soften everyday transitions. The more than sixty engaging kids’ arts and crafts projects included here are accessible and developmentally appropriate for one- to eight-year-olds, and they’re a far cry from the cookie-cutter crafts many of us did in school as kids.

From bubble prints to musical chairs art, these kids art activities allow children to explore art materials, techniques, and ideas as they grow more creative every day. With activities for down times, action art for releasing energy, and recipes for making your own art materials, this book is your guide for raising an artful family. (description from publisher)