It is easy sometimes to focus on the things that are happening just to us. With the growing prevalence of different forms of social media, people begin to present only the good things that happen in their lives while sweeping the bad out of the way. This results in the feeling that bad things only ever happen to us and everyone else is living a golden life. Sometimes we just need a reminder that we are not alone in experiencing rejection and for me, Other People’s Rejection Letters edited by Bill Shapiro, helped me remember that bad things also happen to other people.
In this book, Shapiro looked for rejection letters from family, friends, and even sent a request out to reporters to help him dig up some letters from across the country. Identifying information in some of the letters have been changed to protect the person they are about, but the essence of the letters still remains. Shapiro has chosen to present these letters in their original formats, as emails, handwritten words, text messages, and others. The subject matter careens around from break-up messages, book rejection letters, hurt letters to or from parents, job rejection notices, and even art gallery rejections. Shapiro includes rejection letters from everyone ranging from the famous to the not-so-famous. If a certain letter catches your eye, check out the Postscript section at the end of the book where Shapiro delves into the story behind some of the letters and what has happened to the recipients and senders since.
While a collection of rejection letters might seem depressing, this book serves as a reminder that we truly cannot succeed unless we push ourselves out into the world with the knowledge that we must get rejected in order to find our place. After all, it’s just like Marilyn Monroe said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
In today’s world, it’s not uncommon to see many people concentrating more and more on their screens and less and less on the people in front of them. This sad fact hit Hannah Brencher when she moved to New York right after she graduated from college. As she was exploring her new home, she discovered that instead of the warm and welcoming place she expected it to be, she was surrounded by people who knew exactly what they wanted to do, who knew exactly where they needed to be, and who were not the least bit concerned about a young girl who was just trying to figure things out and looking for help.
Feeling somewhat defeated one day at the subway station, she saw an old woman who seemed to be in a similar lonely situation. Brencher was drawn to the woman and could not look away. Staring at her, she remembered how her mother used to write her love letters and how that simple piece of paper always made her feel better because that meant someone else understood and cared about you. She decided then and there to write the woman a love letter. Sitting curled up on the train, Brencher hurriedly scrawled a note to this woman, wrote “If you find this letter, it’s for you…” on the front, and dropped it. Feeling better, she began leaving love notes all over the city and eventually created the blog The World Needs More Love Letters.
Seeking help when her inbox reached over 400 requests for love letters, she created a campaign that you can subscribe to join to write love letters to perfect strangers. If You Find this Letter: My Journey to Find Purpose Through Hundreds of Letters to Strangers is a memoir Brencher wrote describing her love-letter writing journey in her new home, how she began to feel more connected to the people around her, and how this simple letter writing campaign has helped her restore her belief in the goodness of people.
One decision can alter a life forever – turning left instead of right, stopping instead of going straight home, holding onto a piece of information. That a life can be saved or shattered by the smallest gestures is movingly illustrated in The Postmistress by Sarah Blake.
Set during the early stages of World War II when London is staggering under the relentless German bombing from the Blitz and America is teetering on the verge of entering the war, The Postmistress looks at how simple decisions change and connect the lives of three women. Frankie works for Edward R Murrow in London, reporting on how the bombing is affecting the people and their lives. Newlywed Emma Trask, just arrived in a small Cape Cod town, waits for her doctor husband, who has gone to London to volunteer. And the town’s postmistress, Iris James, holds onto a crucial piece of information that will impact all of them.
The scenes set in London and Europe are especially good; Blake brilliantly evokes the atmosphere of the Blitz where panic gradually gives way to resignation, and death is random and arbitrary. Frankie’s journey through Europe (as an American she is still able to travel through German-occupied countries) is tense and heartbreaking and terrifying. I felt that the parts of the book that are set in Cape Cod are not as strong – less action, less immediate – and that the ending suffered because of this. However, many readers felt differently; this book is worth reading to find out how you feel.
Mother’s Day is quickly approaching — May 10th, in fact. No doubt most of you have already planned your brunches and bouquets in celebration of dear old Mom, and those are always appreciated. Still, when I think back over the years, the mother’s day gifts that I most loved were those which were homemade: the cards with crayon pictures, the lilacs picked fresh from the garden, the attempts at breakfast in bed. Still, one thing I never did for my own mom (or mother-in-law) was to write a thank you letter. Now that they are both gone, I’m wishing I had. Wishing that I’d worried less about fixing a fancy meal with the good china and the white tablecloth in the dining room, wishing I’d spent less time looking for some sentimental card at the Hallmark store, and wishing instead that I had taken a few moments to write down in my own words how I felt. To say thank you, to share a funny story, even, perhaps, to tease a little, but just doing it would show I cared.
If you think you might like to write your own letter to Mom, here are some books that might give you some inspiration:
I Love You, Mom! A Celebration of our Mothers and Their Gifts to Us. This includes essays from celebrities like Larry King and Daisy Fuentes.
I Am My Mother’s Daughter: Making Peace with Mom Before it’s Too Late by Iris Krasnow.