Presence by Amy Cuddy

A very convincing, evidence-based explanation of how our posture has a huge impact on how we think, feel, and behave, Amy Cuddy’s Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges is the book of science-backed empowerment we all need. It’s the bestselling follow-up to her popular TED talk, “Your Body Language May  Shape Who You Are”.

After a brain injury in college, Amy Cuddy began a lifelong fascination with identity, self-confidence, self-doubt, and how good performance happens. When she became a psychology researcher, Cuddy began investigating the role of the body in determining or changing psychological states. In this book, she explains all the research, her own and that of others, that demonstrates the power of body posture to change mood, thoughts, and behaviors. Basically, using open, expansive postures (shoulders back, head up, chest out – things that make you physically bigger) leads to greater feelings of confidence, calm, and self-efficacy, which translates into taking more risks, having better pain tolerance, and much more. On the flip side, getting stuck in contracted, closed postures (hunched shoulders, crossed arms or ankles – anything that shrinks you into less space) makes you feel and act more timid and powerless. Cuddy gives specific examples of how this works, also digging into the role of gender, cultural differences, and more.

My favorite thing I learned in this book is the concept of “personal power”, as opposed to “social power”. Where social power is the authority and status that allows you to direct or control other people, personal power is an inner feeling, a wellspring of resources that gives you the capability of meeting any challenge or situation with poise. You can have personal power without having social power, and it’s not something anyone externally can take away from you. It’s personal power that is increased by changing your body language. I loved how understandable and achievable Cuddy made this concept through clear writing and good advice.

The second-best concept from this book is the “iHunch” – this is less empowering, but very important. Cuddy describes research into the effect of continually hunching over a mobile phone (which she dubs iHunch or iPosture), research which indicates that this posture not only has bad health effects but also makes you feel and act more powerless. For me, that was an important cautionary tale, giving me just one more reason to get off my phone.

If you want to feel better, perform better in challenging situations, or just generally have more confidence, I definitely recommend you read this book – or at least try a power pose or two. It turns out that, as long as you do it in private and not to grandstand or intimidate, standing like Wonder Woman with your hands on your hips or manspreading in a chair might just be good for you.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

As a rule, I don’t read a lot of self-help books. Making changes in your life, your thought patterns, etc. is so personal a process that usually I don’t see how any given celebrity is qualified to give me advice. However, recently my therapist recommend I check out Untamed by Glennon Doyle, and I was hooked within the first two pages. I’m passing this recommendation along to you too, because I think this is a book that almost anyone can find something useful or inspiring in.

In Untamed, Glennon Doyle uses her own experiences to describe the way many people live without even realizing it: she realized that she was trying to be the person the world wanted her to be, instead of being true to herself. She unflinchingly breaks down the restrictive expectations, cultural conditioning, and institutional pressures that had driven her (and may be driving all of us) to numbing addictions, restlessness, and chronic dissatisfaction. She urges her readers to abandon the world’s expectations and build a life based on individual desire and imagination. She speaks especially to women, who typically are called by society to be quiet, selfless, efficient, grateful, and basically “good”, and who are run ragged striving to reach these goals. The book is both a memoir and a call to action: rather than trying to fit yourself into a box, reclaim your untamed self and be brave, creating the truer and more beautiful world you imagine for yourself.

I loved this book not only for the advice, which was powerful, but for Doyle’s honest telling of her story. It’s the story I love to read, fiction or non-fiction: our hero suffers through hardship and loneliness, then wrenches herself free and carves her own path (and it doesn’t hurt that she finds true love along the way). It’s also the message I love to hear (and strive to spread): no one should decide what your life looks like except you. Not your family, friends, religion, culture; no one is in charge but you. This is a powerful thing to hear in a time when more than ever we define ourselves by the groups we belong to and how well we fit in, measure up. Doyle is suggesting (and I think she’s probably right) that the freedom to be ourselves without apology and without shame is the best way we have to make a better world and a better life.

If you’re looking to check this book out, be prepared to re-read, to pause, and to take notes. With this book it’s important to take it slow and make sure you’re soaking it all in. But if you’re looking to be empowered, if you’re feeling stifled or lost or dissatisfied, I recommend you try this book for a thoughtful, eye-opening (and often funny) experience.

Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

The title of this amazing book, full of incredible stories about women overcoming obstacles, is taken from an old Chinese proverb: “Women hold up half the sky.”  The authors, Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, received the Pulitzer Prize in journalism, and I first saw their work featured on the Oprah show.  Their primary premise is that, “Throughout much of the world, the greatest unexploited economic resource is the female half of the population … Unleashing that process globally is not only the right thing to do; it’s also the best strategy for fighting poverty.”

Rather than tire the reader with boring statistics,  the authors wisely chose to illustrate their point by letting us “get to know” individual women.  Warning — the majority of these reports are very sad, even horrific at times, dealing with subjects such as sexual slavery, inequities in gender education, and maternal mortality.  However, each chapter is also followed by a success story, proving time and time again that one person can make a difference.

April 18-24 is National Volunteer Week; I can’t think of a better book to read for it than this.  Besides a plentitude of inspiration, the final chapter gives suggestions on “What You Can Do” with “Four Steps You Can Take in the next Ten Minutes.”  Step One?  Go to GlobalGiving or Kiva and open an account.