This book by Gary Chapman was recommended to me by my niece, who found it a helpful reference for her young family. It’s a quick read, plus Chapman has multiple versions out on the same topic. Similar to Jack Canfield’s Chicken Soup for the Soul series, he has editions especially designed for men, singles, teens, children, etc. — you get the picture. The one I actually read was God Speaks Your Love Language.
The premise is simple enough. According to Chapman, who has more than 30 years of counseling experience, “each person has a primary love language.” We tend to be drawn to people who speak our primary language because we feel they are meeting our basic need to be loved. Conversely, if a person does not speak our primary language, we may question whether they really do love us or not.
The five love languages are:
1) Words of Affirmation. Most people love to hear the words, “Good job!” Some individuals, however, crave that affirmation and are also easily hurt by critical comments.
2) Quality Time. This is about spending time one-on-one, giving undivided attention.
3) Gifts. These tend to be tangible expressions, such as birthday presents or even money.
4) Acts of Service. The list is endless– mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, cooking a meal.
5) Physical Touch. Hugging , high fives and back rubs would all fit here.
Okay, so now that you know the basics — What’s your primary love language?