Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult

The extremely-likable Maria Bamford recounts with candor a lifetime of mental health battles in her book Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult.  Her sincere quest for wellness has passed through a number of cloistered organizations, (Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous) hence this work’s title.

If you are blessed enough to listen to this book, you’ll recognize her default state vocally as an animated Nickelodeon child.  Periodically Maria seamlessly lapses into a dozen distinct audio impressions of women with various degrees of entitlement.   Several are, yes, permutations of mother.

Maria is remarkably candid about the less-than-flattering moments from her personal life, including the hilarious as well as mortifying.  You’ll laugh at both.  Her romantic experiences from 25-50 alone warrant a checkout.  You’ve heard the standup routines.  Now meet the person.  You’ll like her quite a bit.

Interested? Download Libby, by Overdrive and find the ebook!

 

The Joy of Costco by David & Susan Schwartz, illustrations by Martin Hargreaves

Borne of a love of all things Costco, a husband and wife duo created their own press and were given backstage access to Costco for this casual read.    In all, they visited 200 of Costco’s 850 worldwide locations.

Skim for a couple hours, you’ll be able to amaze your friends with tidbits such as:

  • Costco parking spots are 2ft wider
  • They sell 11 million eggs per day
  • Starbucks roasts all the Kirkland brand coffee
  • Costco sells 7x as many hotdogs as all MLB ballparks combined — at $1.50 of course, a doff of the cap to the same high prevailing price from 1985.
  • The record for hotdogs, incidentally, FAR from middle America…Shin Masato Japan with 64,512 hotdog combos in one month.

Speaking of baseball, one of the coolest features of this book is the inside baseball of their internal processes and terminology, i.e. “the cage” and “deathstar”.  Costco employees are incentivized to find  ways to reduce costs, internally known as a “Save Story”.  Mere tweaks to packaging and pallets, for example, result in seismic shifts to reduce CO2 emissions and landfill waste.

Due to Costco’s sheer size, they have incredible negotiating power as an entity.  Enter CWI, (Costco Wholesale Industries), a manufacturing subsidiary solely to reduce costs on products such as glasses, hotdogs, and ground beef.  Ostensibly, this benefit is exercised to pass the value on to members.  You don’t have to have a Gold Star membership to check The Joy of Costco: A Treasure Hunt from A to Z out of our collection, either.   Heck, we won’t even check for your card at the door.

 

Leslie F*cking Jones

Everyone knows the unapologetic and undeniable Leslie Jones.  Even if you never watched SNL, she never let you have a choice in the matter.  A print copy of this particular biography exists, but thankfully we have the e-audio book.  It was maybe recorded using notes.  As it should be, there is simply too much off the dome for her to be reading a manuscript.

Fun Facts:

  • Was a Division I women’s basketball player and reliable enforcer at Colorado State.
  • After twenty years as a wildly successful standup, Saturday Night Live was ready for her.  At SNL, she started pulling all-nighters at 47 with kids half her age.
  • Worked for a considerable amount of time as a Scientology telemarketer after lying on the job interview.

Stack this book next to all the others where the artist transmutes genuine pain into laughter.  Also, the title is no joke.  Needless to say, if you didn’t know every permutation of THAT word prior, you’ll hear them in short order and get plenty of exposure.   Any film record the Wolf of Wall Street held is shattered here by Chapter Two.

 

Black AF History by Michael Harriot

History is written by the victors.  For U.S. History, “written” equals selectively curated and glossed-over before mass dissemination.

Hindsight of an 80’s grade school being 20-20, this fact-laden and exhaustively-researched audiobook is more than a little illuminating.  Christopher Columbus came here….for SPICES?  Did we honestly believe that?    Don’t get me started on the Pilgrims.

Take, for example, Mansa Musa who ruled the Mali Empire 1312 – 1337.  It would be easier to just call him the richest person in the history of planet Earth.  Comparatively, like, Jeff Bezos taking his empties back to Hy-Vee.  Mansa Musa handed out his gold bar milk money on his hajj to Mecca and crashed the Middle East gold economy.  Heard of him?

Then there is Juan Garrido the black conquistador and first known African in the future United States.  He helped discover Florida with Ponce DeLeon and he certainly didn’t get here on a slave ship.  Those came a century later.  Heard of him?

And then there is Sister Rosetta Tharpe, the godmother of rock and roll who fused gospel and blues and sick guitar licks in the 1940’s, long before influencing some kids named Little Richard, Elvis, and Johnny Cash.  She shredded and was the first to use heavy distortion.  Does her name ring a bell?

I’ll admit all these names were new as the freshly driven snow to my insular ears.  Clocking fifteen hours, there is plenty of grist for the mill in Black AF History: The Un-Whitewashed Story of America by Michael Harriot.

Nevertheless: A Memoir by Alec Baldwin

I was operating under the Southpark-inspired misconception that the worst thing about being a Baldwin is….NOTHING! Quite the contrary. The story arc of Alec’s father is an arduous downhill path. Roughly the first half of the book is a serious downer, touching on all the travails of the working class poor. Marry this with the accompanying drug problems of Alec’s burgeoning fame, and wash it down with a healthy dose of painful romances.

Of interest is the inner machinations of his rise from Knots Landing to 30 Rock, with a sidetrip down a little film called The Hunt for the Red October.

No, Alec does not gloss over his sensational answering machine message. Yes, he does wrap up this work with a somewhat inspiring testimonial of what constitutes an empowered citizenry.

Of course, Alec reads the audiobook himself with his signature snarling whisper. Not surprisingly, Alec has an expansive vocabulary and repertoire of impressions of his fellow actors. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Playing Dead: A Journey through the World of Death Fraud

Finding herself in a standard thirtysomething situation, our intrepid author ponders the likelihood of faking her own death to escape student loan debt. And thus, was born the premise of Playing Dead: A Journey through the World of Death Fraud.

What an uplifting audiobook.

So, what is the best way? Awash at sea? Nope. Unless you’ve wronged the mob, people don’t sleep with the fishes as much as wash ashore.
Hiking is better. Those bears are ravenous.

How about staying gone? Olivia Newton John’s “drowned” boyfriend Patrick McDermott made it a decade before a website tracking his location saw repeated hits from his new home in Mexico.  Oops.

In 2017, the ability to vanish successfully with longevity is unlikely. To commit insurance fraud and get away with it? Nearly impossible. Enter the cloak and dagger world of the skiptracer. If you’ve used a ballpoint pen or a keyboard since 1988, you’re not exactly D.B. Cooper.

Do you already have an existing electronic footprint? How do you plan to pay for things until your last day?  What circuitous message bouncing technique will you employ to communicate with others in an untraceable manner?

How long before vanishing did you beef up that hefty life insurance policy?    Red flag.

This book skewed away from the grim and grisly to focus on the fascinating. Did you know there is a thriving marketplace in the Phillipines for unclaimed bodies? Private air conditioned storage facilities are happy to part with them to “next of kin” for a modest fee, providing of course you are, ya know, bereaved and such.  You wouldn’t believe it, but the purchasers always want them cremated.

African safari adventures offer a variety of packages a la Apple Vacations, complete with grainy VHS video recordings of third-tier thespian funeral mourners. Who knew I was such an avid naturalist and so popular on the savannas of Tanzania?  Yes, yes, I was, and the Masai were so sad to hear what happened with the warthog, Mr. Insurance Agent.

In the end, insurance companies have big pockets, they hire Liam Neeson Taken-types who’ve done this dance many times. These guys never fail, and they’re willing to hump it to a mountain in Kazakhstan with a spade to make sure your skeleton is there, not that of an unlucky goat.

Back to playing the lottery.

New CD’s for November

Bon Jovi — This House is Not for Sale

The first Bon Jovi album without longtime guitarist Richie Sambora

 

 

 


Alicia Keys — Here

The fifteen-time Grammy-winning singer, songwriter, and producer will release her highly anticipated sixth studio album. From the human condition to global politics, Here offers a keen glimpse of everything that matters most to Keys.

 

 

 
Miranda Lambert — The Weight of these Wings

Miranda Lambert’s highly anticipated sixth studio album was inspired by both heartbreak and newfound love. Among the tracks is the new single Vice.

 

 

 
Bruno Mars — 24K Magic

After four years, and two Super Bowl halftime appearances, Grammy Award winner Bruno Mars is back with his highly anticipated third album, which includes the hit title track.

 

 
Metallica — Hardwired…To Self Destruct

Metallica releases their eleventh studio album. The two disc set is their first studio album since 2008’s Death Magnetic.

 

 

 
Now That’s What I Call Music 60

The 60th installment of the popular music series that features the hit song from Calvin Harris and Rihanna, This Is What You Came For.

 

 

 
Doug Stanhope — No Place Like Home

Doug Standhope tackles an abundance of hard-hitting issues, from caring for the mentally-ill, to Vietnam vets, being locked up abroad, and why everyone should kick like they kick. He also take on ISIS, global poverty, TMZ, and LGBT related issues. No one is off the table in this one-of-a-kind stand-up special including Gabrielle Giffords, the Duggars daughters, Caitlyn Jenner, and Robin Williams.

New Books on CD for November

David Baldacci — No Man’s Land
Special Agent John Puller, combat veteran and the army’s most tenacious investigator, is back in this action-packed thriller from worldwide #1 bestselling author David Baldacci.<br> NO MAN’S LAND Two men. Thirty years. John Puller’s mother, Jackie, vanished thirty years ago from Fort Monroe, Virginia, when Puller was just a boy. Paul Rogers has been in prison for ten years. But twenty years before that, he was at Fort Monroe. One night three decades ago, Puller’s and Rogers’ worlds collided with devastating results, and the truth has been buried ever since.
Lee Child — Night School

Discover the thriller series that The New York Times calls utterly addictive. After eleven straight global #1 bestsellers, Lee Child sends readers back to school with the most explosive Jack Reacher novel yet.

Clive Cussler — Odessa Sea

Over the years, Dirk Pitt has always had a knack for finding trouble. This time, it has found him. <br> The extraordinary new novel from the grand master of adventure and #1 New York Times -bestselling author.

 
Janet Evanovich — Turbo Twenty-Three

Speed is the name of the game as Stephanie Plum returns in “Turbo Twenty-Three” the thrilling, fast-paced new adventure from #1 “New York Times “bestselling author Janet Evanovich.”
Danielle Steel — The Award

Capturing historical events, terrifying moments of danger, tragedy, the price of war, and the invincible spirit of a woman of honor, The Award is a monumental tale from one of our most gifted storytellers Danielle Steel s finest, most emotionally resonant novel yet.

New Books on CD for October

John Grisham — The Whistler

From John Grisham, America s #1 bestselling author, comes the most electrifying novel of the year, a high-stakes thrill ride through the darkest corners of the Sunshine State. We expect our judges to be honest and wise.Their integrity and impartiality are the bedrock of the entire judicial system. We trust them to ensure fair trials, to protect the rights of all litigants, to punish those who do wrong, and to oversee the orderly and efficient flow of justice.But what happens when a judge bends the law or takes a bribe?It s rare, but it happens.
Laurell K. Hamilton — Crimson Death

In her twenty-fifth adventure, vampire hunter and necromancer Anita Blake learns that evil is in the eye of the beholder… Anita has never seen Damian, her vampire servant, in such a state. The rising sun doesn’t usher in the peaceful death that he desperately needs. Instead, he s being bombarded with violent nightmares and blood sweats. And now, with Damian at his most vulnerable, Anita needs him the most.

 

 

Debbie Macomber — Twelve Days of Christmas

Continuing in a festive annual tradition, #1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber returns with a new original holiday novel full of romance and cheer and the magical prospect of finding love in the most unexpected places.  Friendly and bubbly, Julia Padden likes nearly everyone, but her standoffish neighbor, Cain Maddox, presents a particular challenge. No matter how hard she’s tried to be nice, Cain rudely rebuffs her at every turn, preferring to keep to himself. But when Julia catches Cain stealing her newspaper from the lobby of their apartment building, that s the last straw. She s going to break through Cain s Scrooge-like exterior the only way she knows how: by killing him with kindness.

 

 

 

Jodi Picoult — Small Great Things

With richly layered characters and a gripping moral dilemma that will lead readers to question everything they know about privilege, power, and race, Small Great Things is the stunning new page-turner from #1 New York Times bestselling author Jodi Picoult. Picoult offers a thought-provoking examination of racism in America today, both overt and subtle. Her many readers will find much to discuss in the pages of this topical, moving book.

 

John Sandford — Escape Clause

Whenever you hear the sky rumble, that usually means a storm. In Virgil Flowers case, make that two.  The first storm comes from, of all places, the Minnesota zoo. Two large, and very rare, Amur tigers have vanished from their cage, and authorities are worried sick that they ve been stolen for their body parts. Traditional Chinese medicine prizes those parts for home remedies, and people will do extreme things to get what they need. Some of them are a great deal more extreme than others — as Virgil is about to find out.

 

 

Nicholas Sparks — Two by Two

#1 New York Times bestselling author Nicholas Sparks returns with an emotionally powerful story of unconditional love, its challenges, its risks and most of all, its rewards.

 

 

Randy Wayne White — Seduced

Hannah Smith returns in the stunning new adventure in the “New York Times” bestselling series by the author of the Doc Ford novels.

 

 

Stuart Woods — Sex, Lies, and Serious Money

Stone Barrington takes on a client who gives him a run for his money in the newest heart-stopping thriller from the #1 New York Times bestselling author. <br> <br> Fresh off the runway at Teterboro, Stone Barrington arrives home to find an unexpected new client on his doorstep, anxiously soliciting his help. But everything is not as it seems, when the client reveals the true nature and value of his recent turn of fortune. <br>From luxury New York high-rises to the sprawling New Mexico desert, his client is pursued from all angles . . . and Stone quickly learns that easy money isn t always so easy.

New CDs for October

Michael Buble — Nobody But Me

The 9th studio album and first in three years from the multi-Grammy, multi-platinum award winning singer. It follows the critically acclaimed To Be Loved album which was his fourth album to reach No. 1 on Billboard’s Top 200 Charts.

 

 

Colbie Caillat — The Malibu Sessions

Grammy Award winning singer-songwriter Colbie Caillat returns with the follow up to her 2014 album Gypsy Heart. Her sixth studio album also includes the single Goldmine.

 

 

Kenny Chesney — Some Town Somewhere

Country superstar Kenny Chesney releases the follow-up to his hit album The Big Revival. His latest includes the single Noise, which is quickly rising up the country charts.

 

 

 

Green Day — Revolution Radio

After four years, Green Day return with a brand new album, their first release since being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Their latest includes the new single Bang Bang.

 

 

Norah Jones — Day Breaks

One of music’s most beautiful and critically acclaimed voices returns with an album that finds her returning to her jazz roots.

 

 

Kings of Leon — Walls

Kings Of Leon release the follow-up to their Mechanical Bull album. Includes the songs Waste A Moment; Find Me; Over; and more.

 

 

Pitbull — Climate Change

International icon Pitbull releases his 10th full-length album that features an array of superstar and burgeoning musical guests including Jennifer Lopez, Enrique Iglesias, Prince Royce, Jason Derulo, Stephen Marley and more.

 

 

Rascal Flatts — The Greatest Gift of All

Country superstars Rascal Flatts release their first ever holiday album, which features both new and classic tracks like Strange Way to Save the World; The First Noel, and Someday at Christmas.